Category: Frustration

Frustration that led to calling out loud to the Lord and inner peace from the Lord.

From frustration on Monday the 24th of November, afternoon and evening, letting it out to friends and talking about it to inner peace from the Lord the next 24 hours. While the Lord also planted a seed  thought in my brain. How I needed to be frustrated to see and understand I needed to be frustrated. To get even closer again to the Lord to fully trust Him in this situation.

I have been through a tough financial situation once again, and now I have peace again 😊 because I trust Him in everything!

After the frustration on Monday 24th of November, the Lord planted a seed thought in my brain on Wednesday 26th. A practical creative thought on how to earn money so I will be able to pay my rent for next month 🤩. 

In the middle of all this I have finally got some extra temporary job,  also doors the Lord has open up for me 🙏🙏 Thank you God for every day I am asked if I can work!  A huge blessing!

Wednesday 26th, I made an ad to sell my Tenor Saxophone I bought in the late 1990’s and has just following me from place to place 😆😆. But for a reason I see now. To be able to sell it so I can use the money to live. God is good! God is creative!  I am so so grateful for this!   But it wasn’t easy to think new in the middle of everything! A challenge I just needed there and then. And I was called in to work 😊 🙏 thank you Lord.

To be Thankful when He challenges us is hard but a Blessing after.

This vers helped me a lot!

It is so true, that we don’t need to be afraid. “Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.” Helps to be reminded of when the world feels like it’s upside down. I experienced a spiritual fight in the middle of all things in this situation. But so thankful that the Lord is my Lord. 🙏.   It’s Sunday (the 30th) today, I still have some financial issues I need to fix but trusting the Lord to help me be creative so I can earn the money I need.

This coming week (4th of December) I have an interview, a new SFO, 50% (which will work good for me and my studies). In the ad it was 2 vacation and 1 permanent positions. For it doesn’t matter which I get as long as I am offered one of the positions. That’s my pray right now.  Because I need a job! My head works so much better with my studies when I work.

An other thing the Lord has opened up in my head (or is it just realisation?). That is that I sadly need to move again 😭😭😭. I need to be able to live and not just survive in my life. But this time I am really looking for something for the whole study period of 4,5 years.  The Lord has open up doors when I need it, so He will continue to provide for me. 😊✝️.

More sensetive to temperature during perimenopause.

I have since I got into the perimenopause become even more sensitive to temperature. It’s not just Spring and Summer anymore oh no! It’s all around the year!

If I have a room temperature under +20°C indoors I can catch a cold 🤬🤬but if it’s over +22°C indoors I melt away 🥵.

Last November (2022) I catch a cold because it was below +19°C indoors where I was living and the land lady didn’t tell me it could be so freezing cold indoors during the winter months. Here is the issue that it’s hard to get a eaven temperature in the whole apartment… I have just figured out that, if I have around +21°C in the hallway /corridor it get a bit “warmer” in my sewing room (2nd bedroom) 😊 which is good cause I have chosen to not have any heat on there or in my bedroom (master bedroom). But if I want some heat on in my bathroom I can’t have much on in the hallway…

Earlier this week it felt like walking into a wall of heat when I got home after work. So I tryed to put the heat down, then I catch a cold… it’s excectly a month ago I had a cold 🤬🤬.

I don’t like to complain but this is nuts! And I think it’s the perimenopause. We – wonan – all have different symptoms in this period. And it’s a myth that you can’t hit perimenopause before 45 y.o.! You can! I did and my doctors agree with me.

Here I am, with a cold but mostly fever 1,5° above my normal body temperature, which is the same as 39° C / 102,2° F, if you have 37° C as your normal body temperature.

(The average body temperature is between 36,8 – 37,2°Celsius / 98,6 °F.)

If you as me have lower body temperature then most average people, it’s both easier to catch a cold and feeling you boiling, have hot flashes, night sweats and foggy brain 🥵🥵 when it’s all around the year.

Annoying to have fever again just because of the temperature indoors is hard find a balace on!

Home with spinning head, from Monday November 6th to Friday 10th 😔.

November 23.

Home with spinning head…

Went to work on Monday, was substitute teacher alone in a 5th grade class. Got a bit heavy for me 😔. My brain cooked after 3 school hours 😔🤯. And at my break 11:50-12:20, I couln’t think straight. Lucky me I had an other teacher with me in the last two school hours of gym 😅. But I was by accident hit by 2 handball balls to my front head. I didn’t think much of it when I got home cause my head was still cooking from earlier and I felt on some burnout symptoms. Around 6.30pm, I went to get something to drink from the fridge, and in that moment from the couch maybe 7 steps, my head just started to spinn like I had drinking alcohol 🥴🥴🥺. I had to sit down fast.

I have been home since. The spinning isn’t as intence as on Monday evening, thank you Lord for that 🙏✝️, but it’s still spinning 😔. And offcourse did I have other symptoms like hotflush (perimenopause) and 🤢 which in my head was becauce of the cooking brain.

💙🐈💙 watching me while I am home ❤

So today, Thursday November 9th, I called my GP and got an appointment tmrw Friday. And just incase I ordered a cab (taxi) to be able to go and get back home.

But you know what, after that I managed to make and drink a small cup of strong espresso-coffee (I write it lik this cause I didn’t cook it as a normal espresso on a stove, I did it with coffee filter) my head is spinning less and I have managed to type this!😊 Which is the longest in 24 hours I’ve been on my smartphone without been needed to stop after few minutes 😊. I am still laying in my couch typing but yet 😊.

I am thanking the Lord for every hour that I get better and I believe of healing. But it will be good to see my GP and know what’s going on with my head. I hope I can be back working on Monday 13th.

Am I right or wrong here I dont know, but I feel the enemy trying harder now against us Singel Women above 40.

I feel on this frustration over the fraud-people, they who knows how to trick us and convince you and me to become the victums 🤬🤬 often through high manipulation and nagging until you or me do what they want. They don’t care how or what you actually don’t like or don’t agree with, as long as they win 🤬.

The irritation of why they looking for women above 40 and above and singel?

Cause I have been attacked twice in a month! Four times or more in a year! And it’s not just me, I have singel female friends who also been attacked like me lately 🤬🤬. Why would we be so much more attractive? Not everyone above 40 how a lot of money. Or is it becauce we are singel? Are we more attractive becauce “no one can help us to see the signs?”, or is it something totally different?

They are sadly good on manipulation those people 😢😢😢😢🤬🤬🤬.

I were unlucky that I had some money they could trick out of me 😢😢🤬🤬. Not much and luckly All places I tryed to apply for a mastercard deny me. Thank you Lord for that!!

The enemy really trying to be strong and do sabotage!!

I been feeling it off and on this last year. How the Enemy have tryed to destroy a lot of things for me. Both through work and through internet 🤬🤬🤬. It doesn’t get easier, no no the opposite! So how can we singel women above 40 stand against this shit that really is sabotage one way or the other?? Is it more common in Europe or is this *shit* then around the world? Have you, who following my blog, man or women been attacked by the enemy reasonly? And how?

Do we share this with our Church? Or just close Christian friends? What is your experience of fraud? Please make a comment 😉 not just “like” the post.

Online dating (annoying or not) Very Painful this time – part 12.

When you thought you really had stop this! And suddenly someone respond to one comment on social media!! And you really and literally don’t know how to respond.

THAT happend me.

It was both surreal, exiting and scarry in the same time in the beginning.

But it is for sure the most Sad, Awful, Painful, Terrifying and surreal that ever happend me!!

I have had some day’s to process this. A long story short; and it is sad that the whole thing started so positive and harmless. Which I guess it most the time does. But after few day’s of chatting he asked me to help him and he shared ( stuff I would never share, but he isn’t me) out of a desperate situation he was/is in (if he really is who he say’s he is). This stuff he shared with me is something I am SO AGAINST!! To transfer money!! I really tryed to tell him I didn’t want to do this (and at this point I should have just blocked him! But didn’t see it…) I was only interessted to get to know him as a person. He didn’t listen. My life has been turned up-side-down and I become a victum of online fraud. I thought I had learned the signs… And I really tryed to stand against him and his nagging. But he managed to convinse me 😦 . He convinsed me to get an app for bitcoin and actually buy bitcoin (just writing about this part is so painful!!) If it is anything I always been skeptical to, is it things I don’t know a shit abou like bitcoin (probably something he is used to). Every part of my body said NO!! And I tryed to talk sence to him but he didn’t listen. (I am crying inside of me writing this, it is so painful!!). I hate myself and him!! Dissapointed on myself for not reacting faster… And why didn’t I just block him? Well, I have to say this was more of a fight between the enemy and me… who would win?

You should know I have been through almost every type of feelings here. Hate myself and him. Frustration. Irritated. Sad. Crying. Wanted to screem. Wanted to melt away. But I texeted a friend who saw the whole thing from the outside and told me I had been a victum of fraud. When you read that from a close friend who care you know you need to act. So I have reported him to the Norwegian Police for online fraud. Called my bank and got everything blocked. I have made a copy of the whol chatting and saved it as a pdf-file. It’s been few turbulent day’s and will because of this take a break from social media. But I need my blog, to vent through as I always do.

Maybe because of this whole shit have I had brain fatigue, exhaustion symptoms – difficult to fall a sleep in the right time and my back crashed. It has been locked since Wednesday – the day when the big sad shit happend and I lost almost all my money.

But the Lord has his ways of encuragement!! And the Lord has been with me through it all I know. It’s the enemy who tryed to be bigger. The enemy who destroyed it all!! It’s like the enemy want to disrupt everything right now but he will not win!

And I thank the Lord for everything he has helped me with in this sad situation! The Glory goes to Him who is Bigger then everything!

If a person online asks for pictures of you don't send until he/she has sent it first!! Then google this person, read as much you can about this person!! Go on a concert or a place this person say's he/she normally are!! Don't trust everything the person say's!! Ask for a video meeting where you can se e/she is moving normal or do it live, meet somewhere public nothing else!! And never ever pay a penny!!! NEVER!! Be skeptical!!

*You should just know how many times I have been editing this text.* 🤪🤪🤪

Lucky I have my 💙Silver boy🐈💙 to calm me down when I needed to cry out. And good Christian friends that stand with me in this and in prayer 🙂 And helped me see what I didn’t see ❤ in the end. How desperate I got to figure out how to help this guy. It’s scarry how easy it is to become a victum of this!! And hard the enemy try 😦 .

I was Curious and really just wanted to get to know this guy. Now after this I don’t want anything from him ever!! I really hope he doesn’t ask any other person for this!! And I am curious if it actually was he who he said he was or if someone hacked him. But I will not check. Everything is now in the hands of my Lord Jesus. And I will move forward.

I have had all my cards from my bank blocked so no one can’t damege more.

Worship is the thing now. Lot’s of good input is just what I need.

I am still sad inside and angry on myself but I know if I focus on that nothing will be good. So I will fill my life with good things from the Lord, Bibleverses, other Christian blog’s and try to do some sketching that actually helps my brain to relax.

After I was done writing this text yesterday – Saturday the 23rd of September, I read some encurageing text from a Christian blog post from the Inlight Church, I recieve on my email. Here is the biblevers; “So do not fear, for i am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 (NIV).

Lay back straight down into the ground 🥴, January 16th. Part 1 of 2.

The school yard.

…walking to the swimming pool with a student in the 2nd grade, I went backwards to talk to the student. Had seen that there was a bicycle along the wall and knew that I had to turn before it, miscalculated the distance. While the bike was there and I tried to put my left foot in the right place so as not to trip, I tripped. I fell. Lay back straight down into the ground. Hit the coccyx and lower back and probably something more. I couldn’t get up on my own, but I told the student (who looked at me shocked) to catch up with the class, because we were far behind the class.

A colleague came, saw me lying on the ground, and asked if she should help me up. I just said I can’t do dey by myself. She helped me up and into the canteen. But before we went in, I had to call my department head, who was also a substitute swimming teacher that day. Let me know what just happened and that I can’t join. She called another environmental worker. My colleague and I entered the canteen, met the other environmental worker. My colleague who helped me spoke to the other woman. Then the school’s “receptionist and office lady” also came to find the other environmental worker.

At about 10:40am I was in the canteen. Tried sitting on the cushions in the window. But it just didn’t work. Slide down on your knees on the floor. It was the only thing that worked. Then came the migraine. The “office lady” asked if she could help me, so I explained where my bag was, with migraine medicine and what it looked like was. She went, I called my manager for sfo (sfo stands for school and leisure). Told her what just happend, the “office lady” came back with my backpacker. We went up together in the elevator, up to the stafs area. I eat, tryed to call my GP.

Around 12:50pm, after 20 min of que I got hold on the nurse of my GP and got an apointment for the nxt day.

A friend and colleague was informed and she was able to come and pick me up around 1pm at work 💜. I left work in huge pain. Not really able to walk. Werepicked up, managed to both get in and out of the car but it felt like I were 85 or something… nearly home we stopped by the nearest pharmacy 💜.

Got home approxy 1.30pm. The migraine came back while I were in the couch. Slept and it hlpd 🙂. I also managed, even if my pain were high, to make dinner 🙂. And I think I can say, I am thankful that I had a good night sleep.

Frustration.

Frustration comes from nowhere most the time. It pops up. Mostly it disapare as fast as it came for me. But right now it’s still on my mind. 😐

Nothing is fun or feel positive right now. It’s more “how will I survive the rest of this month”- feeling with lots of frustration. ☹

My frustration is my life-situation. It’s the lack of getting a job. Lack of a better income. Lack of be able to have some money over in the end of the month.

The picture show my refridge. What I have and no more until the 20th this month.

I am not the kind of person that get depressed but this situation is close to that state of mind… Life isn’t easier just because I am a Christian (if you thought so). I have the same challenges in life as anyone else. I can through it on God and knowing I don’t need to think about it. Which if you who don’t believe, probably struggel with challenges.

I did struggel a lot about most thinking of economics before I started to believe on what the bible says.

I just have to trust God for a miracle to be able to take one day in the time. At least my cat’s have what they need.

/Mia-Simone.Svenberg