My mothers last day in life, has past.
Mom became 80 years old the 17th of November this year. ❤.
On Wednesday the 18th of November I called the head nurse, at mom’s home for the last 6 or 7 years, to check with her what was going on becauce I recived a wierd text message from our dad.
She answered that the function of swallowing food had dissapared. One step closer to not be here on earth with us. A step in the process of the end of demensia. Which was the first day without food and water for mom. 😢.
A sickness she got approxy 13,5 years ago. The same year I moved to Norway…
On Saturday the 21st I phoned mom’s home at 7.30pm and everything was ‘ normal ‘ which doesn’t say much when you as a family member don’t know much of the end of this sickness…
Monday the 23rd was okay. She was breathing normal, she was still piing. Which means some of the organs was still working. 😊.
Tuesday the 24th, mom or her body was starting to show symptoms that the end was getting even closer. Restlessness in the body and coughing efforts were worse. So then she got a syringe against it. And it made her calm. ❤.
Wednesday 25th was okay stable. Not much of a changed. ❤. Dad went to visit her in the afternoon.
Thursday 26th did not start well. 😢. For none of us. My brother T had phoned early in the morning and her breath was changed during the night. 😢😢😢.
Thursday 26 07:42am did I recive the first message. Glad I was awake. Preparing for work and eating breakfast. I became sad and tankful knowing ‘this is the very end’. I went to work and on the bus I called the head nurse to hear what the facts was there and than.
She told me Mom could stop Breathe at lunchtime or later that day. Hard to say. I told her that my brother T was on his way up to Mom. 08.45am ish. I came to work a bit sad inside. Had my classes with the students I normally have on Thursday.
A close friend of mine texted me during class telling me I should call my brother asking him to hold the phone close to mom’s ear and give her my last greeting to her for the last time. And I did, in my lunch break. Glad I did. ❤.
This was when the tears came.
A reviled momemt of tears and love to Mom. A moment of realizing that from now are just waiting, stay in touch with each other. A moment of feeling alone. A moment of where the only thing I wanted was a physical hug from anyone. A moment where I wished I wasn’t singel.
Trying to eat lunch was easier said than done. And I didn’t managed to have the class I was supose to have. Gave the information to the student on what to do and I tryed to pull myself together, stop the tears and preparing me for the last one and a half hour of assistent. Which I managed. And such a boost for me.
On the bus way home I got a message from my brother 4.56pm “shorter breathing”. 😢😢😢. This was next step in the process.
We siblings was online on Messenger between 4pm to 6pm. Following mom’s breathing process to the very end. She stopp her breathing 6pm on the clock. 😭❤.
She is now in Heaven 😊 with no more pain and no more sickness ❤.
And December 11, will we all be in Sweden for the funeral. 🌹. We will be able to say Good Bye in an other way. 🌹. Grieve in our own way. 🌹. Let the tears flow. 🌹. And just be and maybe feel close to her.
I know she is in heaven. She is in a place she has talked about many times.
She was a believer.
She was saved.
I started my grieving process around Mom’s 75th Birthday in 2015, knowing she would not become better. And two years later was the last time I talked to her on the phone becauce she did not recognize my voice anymore. 🥺. I have had peace since. Knowing she would end up with the angels in heaven with the Lord. ❤.
It feels wrong to say ” I am find ” but I am. I am not in the first grieving process I am some steps ahead. I will always miss her. But we did not live close for the last 13years… But we had a bond. After the Summer I had turned 16, we had a figth and cleanced the air and got a stronger bond. A bond of love and faith. And we both walked a lot after work and becauce of distance between us, we talked ” to each other ” as the other person was a part of the walk. And I am going to continue that. 😉😊❤.
/Mia-Simone.Svenberg.2020
mia-simone. svenberg 