Single or Get Married? Part two of three.

So I have finally picked up the book again. Trying to finishing it. My motivation isn’t really there but I will make it through! The book of Marriage. A very interesting book (!) for us women. It is called “get married, What Woman Can Do To Help It Happen”and it is a lot to both read, adjust and get into the get into everyday life as a single girl/lady (whatever you like to call your self). It is a help in the way most of us woman think and act to get involved in a relationship with a man and NOT how to be his friend.

the book

It is easy to be the girl  that is always hanging with the guys (for me that’s who I’ve been more then less my whole life). This book goes deeper then that. This book lets us know how we manage to “jump” over that part of just stay as friends and how we will act to not get into the friend-relationship and actually get “under his skin” and understand how he is thinking and what he appreciate, what he likes to hear from us. It gives us “the key” or “tools” how to be and say to reach his interest. 

It also talks about..

“Mentors – how great value it is”… Paul in the bible provided a remedy in the advice he gave in Titus 2. Speaking about the range of ages in any church body, he encouraged the older  believers  to counsel the younger ones. Getting wisdom from someone who’s further down the road is invaluable. ..maybe even more so – they’re better able to provide scouting than your peers. It’s far trendier, and less awkward, to seek advice and help of your friends. But when it comes to finding a husband, older woman and couples, have a lot more to offer.

mentoring

Get someone that can challenge you, get you to a higher standard, how to dress like a lady, eating better and exercising.

up for the challenge

mentorandyou

If you only spend time with people in the same season of your life you’re in, the competition for available men likely be fierce. But if your friends span the generations, it’s probable they will know or be related to eligible men.

“Relationships ebb and flow; what’s important is that this guy carries the qualities and characteristics of a godly man you’ve been waiting for.” (words from the authors pastor.)

ephesians

Where are the men? And are they actually interested in marriage?

In one word, sleeping. Most of the men in our culture haven’t had any high expectations to meet. …so they’re passive. But you can encourage them, by the greatest motivation, your belief. They need a women who see in them, and encourage, what God designed men to be. Your respect is what leads to his pursuit.

“I gives me things to think of.

I’ve read this verse before, but it has never hit me like it does in this context. It has open up my eyes of “what a man looking for in me” and how I should start to act and be and say things to a man. In the beginning of this book I thought “I will just read it” but now when I still haven’t got further then half of the book I realize this book is much heavier then I thought! In a good way thou. I gives me things to think of. How am I acting with a man? Am I actually encouraging him? should I skip some things when I am mumbling? I have to say I like this book more and more as deeper I get and as further I read in it. It challenging me!

sunset.wake up

 

In this chapter “waking up a great sleeper” the author who been in the same situation her self, talks about her experience and how she met her husband. What her mentor challenged her to do in the same time how she learn to be more lady-like in her mind, what she was wearing  and also how important it actually is to take care of our body in a physical way – to go to the gym. She talks about Discern His Charater, Assess His Potential, Ask the Right Questions, Encourage His Spiritual Maturity and Dream With Him. The last part of “dream with Him” is more in the sentence of when you actually got him on some dating. I have just read this chapter and I have say, it have open up new ways, thoughts how I will try it out in real life!

 

Single or Get Married? Part one of three.

I am reading a book about this subject right now because I am interesting about the thoughts and mind. I want to get married. I don’t want to be single for the rest of my life. I have had my own struggle with this for some years. For many years I didn’t wanna get married for the course of get my own kids, no, I wanted to get married and then see if I/we could adopt kids. But during the last 4 years God has helped me to change my mind in this. It has been a struggle for me to come to the point I am today but probably worth it.

And during the Christmas holiday (December-15) God spoke to me about this much stronger then I have felt before. I got a longing desire from God to get married. I’ve got a desire to become a mom, a wife, have my family. And this is big for me.

In the book the writer talks about how we can’t really expect the «old style» any more about «how to sit and wait for the right one to show up» It doesn’t look like that in 2016! If you and me have a desire to get married we have to start looking for someone that are in our network and «qualifies» our personality. We have to be doing things and not just wait. Because if we wait, we will probably be waiting for the rest of our life.

It’s not just “what I want in your personality” its also to be able to see “what can you live with” and “how can we compromise each and an others issues?”.

Ask, Seek & Knock

To want to get married is a decision in life. It’s just like to be in-love with a person, it’s a decision you take. It is like if you or I want to take an education, we look for the right one, we apply and we starts it. Its a bit the same with I want to get married.

I am active.

I don’t just sit and wait.

Its not just the thought about «Yes I want to get married one day» well you might but it can take some longer time then you probably wanted. No, it is a decision «I want to get married» to start the process in your mind and soul, doing, acting and living!

Its How you Think about it.

It’s not just something that will just happen. It’s about you and me. Do I / you want to get married? If yes, then we have to something about it. We have to start talk about it like we talk about other normal things with our friends. We should not be afraid of talking about things we have on our heart with friends.

I think that if we talk more about this it want be so hard, tricky or awkward and both girls and guys will not be so sky or embarrass about the subject and actually ask someone out.

Whats the worst answer you can get? A no? 

Sometimes I think we all are to fast to say those words “no I don’t think we fit each others”. How and what are you grounding this on? Have you seen that much of the persons personality that you know what God’s plan is?

index

 

This is my thoughts, what are yours?

/Mia-Simone