I cry when I read something beautiful or watch a beautiful movie or when I watching someone helping someone else like in the series “Extreme Make Over, with Ty Pennington”, because it touch my heart.
I cry, when I read my own words for my Mom. I don’t cry so often, but when I cry it’s like something I just need to do there and then. Like God knows when I need to cry.
I cried when I received the sad news of my bonus grandpa was gone and that I didn’t have opportunity to be there when he went away. ❤
I cried when my mom’s ant past away, cause she had made an impact on me. And I still missing her humor and sense of cloths..and she has been gone for more then 15 years.. ❤
I cried when my first best friend Josef took his life. I was 5 years old. I lost my very best friend. The sad part is that my dad didn’t understand how good friends we were and how much it had meant for me to be there in the funeral with his parents. So I cried.
I will cry when ever Mom leaving us. But I also know it will be Happy tears.
When I cry it’s like something is healing on the inside.
To have faith on God in the hard time can be difficult. Why am I writing this? Well, my mom has for the last two weeks been in and out of the hospital.. She has Alzheimer (AD) and the end getting closer more then ever.
It started with some cramps and she went to the ER by ambulance Monday the 29th of May. She stayed there for about 12 hours, then they send her up to IVA (intensive care section) and from there to section 61 (Medical care). She had got a lung-infection and she got antibiotics. She went stable and they could send her home to here Dementia service provider, Stenudden (see picture below).
Exactly one week later she went back by ambulance to the ER with new cramps, but this time it wasn’t the lungs. Thank God for that! But still… And both me and my brothers living far away from our Mom, my oldest biologic brother lives only 80km away but he has his family. And I don’t think it’s such big point for us to go and visit here in this last period. Cause we can’t really do nothing more then sit by her side. I don’t think Mom want us there either, cause that’s how she’s been saying all the years when she was healthy. We don’t know if she’s recognize us anymore… Imakes all the calls to the different sections on the hospital and making sure that everyone has the right and newest information. Why, well I am such a copy of my mom and her personalities. I am a realistic person and have heard that through my whole life but the thing is that I like it too. I like to know the facts and to let to know that my family knows whats going on. 🙂 It just my way to show care and love.
I guess it helps me to believe I am doing the right thing for mom. I like to coordinate things and help out my way. It helps me believe God is leading me to help others. My faith on the small thing like “let mom not have too much pain” or “let her live a bit more healthy from physical pain”. My faith also get stronger by knowing we have others standing in prayer for us as a family. I think its harder for my dad and brothers. The “hard part” for me is that she will not be there in the future, meeting new grand-kids or celebrate different things happening in life. The sad part I think is that she will never be apart of my future wedding, family and if children comes into the picture. But I know she will stay with me forever and she will be watching over each of us siblings. ❤
My ventilation is this blog. I clear my head and thoughts. I have faith on God to do what’s best for Mom here and now.
The nurses I’ve been in contact with on section61 is adorable! They care for mom ❤ they really wants to do the best for her and they let us know everything we asks for. I would like to send some flowers to them just saying “You helped us so much during those days of wonder. Thank you all”. I would like to go and meet them in person nest time I’m up there!
Mora Hospital.
I don’t think we as a family could go through this whole process without all the prayers that we have around us. It is so many friends, family and others around us that prays for mom to not have to much pain in this last period in life with the sickness and for us as family to not “fall a part” but to get strength through this and love to each other.
I am SO Thankful for every-ones prayers!!! ❤ ❤ ❤
I pray for mom every evening before I fall asleep and I know whenever mom is leaving us, she will get it better! She has been an Christian believer in many years and she believes in Heaven and I know she will get it better up there. She will be healthy again and she will not have any pain. ❤ She will watch over us from above. ❤
I love you Mom. I know you knew that before you got too sick. ❤
I have made up my mind for a Media-Free Week this coming week. I will only post pictures on my Instagram profile. I will try to not watch so much on the television as I normally do. I will not be on Facebook or not even post a blog here this coming week. I just feel I need a Non Media Week again.
My goal is to become more inspirited to write more often then before and to have this Non Media week more often to clear my brain and to become more creative which I haven’t been in a long time. 😦 I need more time with God and less time from media! I need more time with friends and less time in front of the television!
I need a Time Out
I need a time out from Media again. And I know I should do it more often then I have done. I get so into some of the series on the television and I know I don’t need it. It’s been a quite long time since I even read a good book and I got several of them at home. They just standing there in the bookshelf… I will try to read at least one book this week because I miss it. You know you have so much other thing “you should do” and don’t take the time to just read a good book or meet up with friends… Well this coming week I will try to do things I miss and I will try it more often and hopefully get in to a routine of good habits. 🙂
Life should be about good habits in life and do what’s good for us rather then things we have around us that isn’t what we need but just have there!
I think we all need a Time Out from things in life a bit here and there. I think it’s good for us! I think that we live in a world with to much from the media that we don’t need. I’m thinking of all the negativity from the News rapports how much of that do we actually need?
How often is it some positive news? and if we see them do we miss to see all the bad stuff? Have we gotten immune to see all the bad stuff or have we gotten in to a habit to see all the shit – that we think we need it?
Take a Time Out from something you normally do and think about it. Do you miss it after one day? are you so addicted to it that you think you need it? well if the answer is yes, you need to have a time out from it! You need a Media Free Time!
I’ve been without my newsmartphone for a week cause I lost my screencode. I had to go back to using my old Samsung S3 😞
I have to say it felt like I went back more then three years! And this ment I could not blog when I wanted or not even write anything down 😔😔
I got adicted to be able to have all those different app’s. And I missed to have a Good battery!
But yesterday in the end of my shift at the Hotel my new college told me he could help me re-set it. HowHappyI went! And here I am…writing about it…
I’m back and I’ve learn the lession to backup things 😉 is the key for every New smartphone! 😉
During this last week I went to the optician to get my new glasses- oh what a different! I can see and read signs. ☺ Not just close to me no,even those far away ☺ which b4 was not possible. Acording to my optiker I got better sight on my right eye (I didn’t think that was possible but obvious).
And we got Winter, Snow and lower temperatur this last week too.
/Mia-Simone
…In the end of September I got the opportunity to start walking beside the night-shift at the Hotel where I have my trainee-time. It was the “dream-moment” I’ve had for a long time in all kind of jobs I’ve had. In the same time everything felt a bit unreal. I mean I was happy I’ve got this opportunity! This was my thoughts: “what will I do when I am awake, will I sleep my seven hours I normally sleep, without any problem?”
Signs right outside PS:Hotell. Night picture.
And I have to say it’s been like normal time at home. I do things as anyone else it is just an other time on the day then most of my friends “daytime”. The toughest is to go from a free day to start 6.30 am and get early enough in bed to get up at 5.00 am!
I had my first night-shift the 26th of September. The most of the tasks are the same but I’ve learn some new. During the night you have to send reports to the bosses of the Hotel, and in the Hotel (the different ares like housekeeping, restaurant and reception), which you only do on the night.. An other of the tasks is to clean the barista machine and the coffee Thermoses. You check all the bookings a month ahead and cash settlement.
“..the difficult again is to get to the gym.”
So far I’ve done seven night-shifts and I’m loving it! It fits me more then anything I ever worked with. It takes time to adjust to this too, to see how much I need to sleep and what I’ll have energy to do.
The difficult again is to get in to a good rhythm to go to the gym. I have realized that I have to do the normal monthly work-out payment to be able to get my work-out I need because my work schedule isn’t even close to five days in a row. Sometimes my free-days are only the weekend other times it’s in the middle of the week, and with a normal gym-set-up you go whenever you want any time. But I go through something called “active in the daytime” only during the week 9.00 am to 14.00 pm. It just doesn’t work for me. 😥
Winter in Oslo in October.
During the last week has the Northern wind arrived to Oslo and the winter feather jacket got out of the suitcase for me and more wool cloths out of the dresser. Something I like to try to not do until the middle of October but not this year apparently.. But I rather be warm with good clothing and stay in the fashion mote.
“..alone to many hours, played less and slept more..”
In the mean time of this new experience I had bad consciencefor my cat Silver. He was alone for to many hours, slept more and more, played less and less. It was time for Silver to get a play-friend. So I started my “hunt” of a new adult cat to keep him company. And the 10th of October I got a castrated female cat called Pus (which means cat here in Norway) so I started to calling her Pussi (also normal animal name here in Scandinavia). But an other day this week I received a text msg from the old owner that her name actually is Selma which is so so far away from the name I gave her. So I’ll try Selma and see if she responds. In the mean time I use her nickname.
Selma 5 y.o.
I can’t say they were friends from the beginning. They have had there fights but now after one and a half week they do play together, have an eye on each other, don’t sleep near each other but they can sit on the desk kind of together with some distance. It took about a week for Selma to “I want to be near you, my new owner”. But since day 5 she sleep in my bed on top of my legs and not besides my legs!
On Sunday I got an allergy reaction in my throat after I ate some food-snacks and I realized it must been nut in it.
Walnut.
Bad bad bad.
I had a similar reaction in my throat fifteen years ago on chic-peas. In that time a deathly reaction.
This was nearly the same feeling but I didn’t go to the ER as I probably should have done…
I went from “work” one hour before I was suppose too. Send an email to my boss about what happen on my way home. I just went home cause I thought I had medicine at home, didn’t find it but luckily the swelling went down by my normally allergy medicine.
Monday morning when I woke up the itching was still there so I phoned my doctor, got an appointment. Got there and got good medicine that was helping fast. 🙂 Went to “work” did my hours and everything was finally fine again.
Tuesday came and now I woke up with a bad red, swollen foot.. I thought it would go down during the day but it didn’t, so after the busy time on Tuesday between 7.30pm and 9pm my foot was so red and swollen I just had to call the hospital I had my knee surgery at (in February-13). They told me that I should go to the ER asap so I asked my co-worker if it was okay and he said “health first work always survive” and the night staff would be there quite soon anyway.
So I went to the ER. It didn’t take as long time as I thought it would (which it normally does). But when I met the doctor at ER the foot wasn’t so red any-more. The blood test was negative which was good cause then I could leave and try to get home. I knew that “my bus” didn’t go any more cause of the time of the night but I catch the tram to the central station and then the metro to the closest stop of walking distance. I had a good walk back home and a good chat with God.
Even if those days has been different I am thankful for the health system here in Norway and that I can get help when I need it without high bills.
Today Wednesday was my relaxing day and recharge my battery. And I have.
But when I checked Facebook I got a chock. A quite close friend have just past away. He and his wife was one of the first couple I got to know when I moved to Norway nine years ago. They kind of become extra parents to me. I have been looking up to them as Christians and as marriage couple. And now he is gone. He became 50+… I can’t really understand it. A cording to what his wife wrote on Facebook he was injured at his work in his head and brain.
R.I.P Danny Danson.
Prayers goes to the families. Lots of LOVE to everyone close to this family!
I just had to go for a walk, clear my brain and talk to God. I am still a bit in chock.
“Cleaning my home for me, is when I know I can feel the sent of green soap afterwards.”
I grow up with Thursday as the cleaning day at home and it was always mom that did most of if at least when I was a child. As I grow into a teenager I started to help mom and when I moved out of home as 16 y.o. I brought this cleaning tradition with me. It was naturally for me. I have had some “thinking” about it but I kind of never changed it until for few y.o. It’s been cleaning day on Thursdays so many years of my life that it was a bit weird to suddenly clean the house/home, wash cloths an other day in the week. I have just bought a robot vacuum cleaner to safe my back from more issues and I am pleased with it so far. It is so easy that I only need to sit down, help it to no t “run” into the mat on the floor but my cat – Silver – is as skeptic to the robot “Rob” as to the more common one. Today I took the floor, washing with green soap. That the perfect end of cleaning at home.
“Is traditions we grow up with that important? Or is it just that we realizing about those tradition’s as adults and just bring them on?”
My mom’s thinking was this, if you clean the house on a Thursday you will have it clean and nice the whole weekend and you can come home from work on the Friday knowing you don’t need to think about cleaning.
It’s nice. But when you as I work weekends that doesn’t really work. I prefer to wash a Sunday if I am free or a Monday. Most times I wash cloths one day and clean the home an other day. It works for now. And it was during that I started to think more about this of “if we clean our home, then we need to clean our heart and mind and soul too”.
Clean your heart and soul.
It’s not just our homes that needs to be cleaned. Our heart and soul needs it too. I realized that I have been missing to listen to worship for the last week or so, when I started my play-list on Spotify yesterday. I have been feeling emptiness inside. To fill my ears and heart with good Christian music is as much important as to have a cleaned home. In one way I am surprised that I kind of lost track of the good things after I started the work-experience. In an other way I can understand it, because when I get home after a day or evening from the Hotel I am so exhausted that the only thing that is in my mind is to relax in-front of the television, which I do. It is only when I am free for more then two days I realizing that it is something missing. For me it is my way to clean my soul, to listen to worship or sit by the water and just clear my thoughts. It’s the best way to re-fill my soul, heart and mind with good words. It is easier for me to talk to God, to read an encouraging book or pray with Christian worship in the background. I am the girl that loves hard core and instrumentally heavy metal normally. But this year I have forced myself to listen to more common worship to see if I feel different or if God can speak to me in an other way. So far (nine months in to it) I can’t say it’s any difference’s of what kind of Christian music I listen to.
As a Christian I need thing that lift me up. I need a Christian fellowship where I can re-fill. To have a fellowship with Christians has become so much more important now when my week is Friday to Tuesday and not Monday to Friday. When Sunday’s isn’t a church-day in the same way as before August..
But I found my Christian fellowship in June, when I went to Torp, Norway. I have now started to be a part of this group on a more regular basis. I can go to church every second Sunday or join the Christian fellowship group on every second Saturday’s. I will see what it will be, this Sunday (the 4th of September) it’s church-day. When it fits I even manage to join my house church too on Thursday’s. I know I need it and I want it. Since I became a Christian the Christian Fellowship is the most important then go to church on a Sunday. The worship, shearing daily life and praying. Talk about life in a small or bigger group where I feel at home is the thing. Knowing that I have friends that will pray for me when I need it there in the group, when I am in the Hotel or have free and that I can be a part of the prayer for my friends. That’s when God can show us all his power.
A new journey has started in my Christian life, to found out what fits with work, what is the next step about my Christian fellowship and which church is mine? And I know God has a plan that fit’s my life!
I am as curious now as before the 1st of August or even more about what God has for me the rest of this year. 2016.
Do you remember to clean your heart, soul, thoughts and mind?
Time flies fast, when you have fun or have something to do.
It was first of August just now, well at lest in my head, life, world. But it is the twenty-first! That’s more then half the month. Where did those days and weeks go?
I started as a trainee in a hotel here in Oslo the first of August and I love it! It is a big prayer-answer! Friends have been with me in prayer for this for so may years! It has been a journey with God, where he has tout me how to trust him on 100% and not less. How God has provide my life, financially, with food, with getting to a doctor when I was to sick to catch a bus and a friend drove me. It is so much God has shown me and how great it is when I trust God.
It has been my journey I needed to learn to trust God more.
To understand that this is my foundation for my faith in life. Most people would maybe get mad or crazy to not have a job over five years. It has been a journey with tears, joy, struggles, “whys”, many prayers of “open the right door” and “close those doors that shall not even show some lights”. But I have to say, I have always something to do, one of the things is my customers and secondly is every project I start where I live. And I have been taking some courses during those years, but manly I have trusted God to get into some-kind of work-experience where God wants me, can use me. And here it is. The answer.
As I said above, I have started as a trainee in a Hotel here in Oslo. I love it! It’s fun even those days when we do not have so much to do. Even if my wish was that it would be more that happen during those days I guess that in one way it is good to be here as a trainee in Oslo’s smallest Hotel in the way that it does not take long time to get in to the Hotel-routines, but and yes I have to say but. But I wish it was more going on manly because I need it. I am the kind of person that need the “busy time” to refill my battery (energy) I get energy of meeting and helping people, and here at this Hotel does it feel like everything goes in s-l-o-w-m-o-t-i-o-n or a better description is that when the guests are arriving do they not come everyone in the same time (which is normal) or not even close to each other. A normal day few guest comes maybe around 3pm when we start the in-check and then its a long gap (more then an hour) until next group of guest comes, it can even pasting more then two hours before next guest…
In the same time these days going so fast and I only do four hours per day.
I will start with eight hours next week, which is a bit scary for me. Manly because I have not been working for the last five years, have had back-issues since the summer of 2000 and the worst pain the most recently in the last two years.
But I am to curious to start on those eight hours per day. I am curious and anxiety in the same time about how it will go. And I am to stubborn to not try.
The 17th was my free day – off work. A day I priority to go to the gym, for my health. A routine I got out of during summer, a routine I now struggle to get back into. I miss it so much! But I guess it is normal with new routines in life whatever it is a new job or studies, to get the time to reach to do those things that makes you happy or build up your life in a long term. I guess it is normal when your weeks looks different.
Anyway… I am looking forward to get into a work-routine my body manage.
I received a message from a friend through messenger on Thursday this week, where I had told here about my struggle to get a new routine in my life. And she answered that “it’s normal before all new things get into routines about everything in life” It was just so nice to “hear it” from someone I know and someone who has been in the situation quiet recently.
An ironic detail happen on Thursday.. I managed to get off work thirty minutes before I was suppose to get off. I guess I just was just tired in my head or that I had an other day in my mind. I realized that on my way to the bus so I called the Hotel and talked to the guy in charge. Which in my mind made it normal to think I will start thirty minutes earlier on Friday. Something weird happen there, I can still not say what happen.
During those days at the Hotel have I learn out-check, in-check, double-checking the booking system the hotel is using, where all the rooms are, how many it is, how many conference rooms we have, overbooking, where the fire signs are and some more. How close everyone in the hotel is working together no matter if you are in the housekeeping or in the restaurant. Which also means that “your routine” is not always the original routine, it can be to help someone else in an other ares. Quite many new things, I have got to know around twenty-five new colleges and started to walk much much. All good things in life.
This is how to Relax!
Today is it Sunday, laundry-day and relaxing, charge my energy-day. I have realized that when I am at the Hotel I do not have enough energy when I get home to do more then necessary like eat, maybe check my email, maybe order things that I need (that other people rather buy in the store) to keep up in life. But it is okay for me. Life is to short to think about what other people think I should or could do so I do not do that.
For the future,I really hope and wish I will be able to start to go next to the night-shift worker in a sooner future then I had in mind when I started three weeks ago, and that the night-shift will fit me as much as I think it will. Because that has been my dream so many years now…
So I have finally picked up the book again. Trying to finishing it. My motivation isn’t really there but I will make it through! The book of Marriage. A very interesting book (!) for us women. It is called “get married, What Woman Can Do To Help It Happen”and it is a lot to both read, adjust and get into the get into everyday lifeas a single girl/lady (whatever you like to call your self). It is a help in the way most of us woman think and act to get involved in a relationship with a man and NOT how to be his friend.
It is easy to be the girl that is always hanging with the guys (for me that’s who I’ve been more then lessmy whole life). This book goes deeper then that. This book lets us know how we manage to “jump” over that part of just stay as friends and how we will act to not get into the friend-relationship and actually get “under his skin” and understand how he is thinking and what he appreciate, what he likes to hear from us. It gives us “the key” or “tools” how to be and say to reach his interest.
It also talks about..
“Mentors – how great value it is”… Paul in the bible provided a remedy in the advice he gave in Titus 2. Speaking about the range of ages in any church body, he encouraged the older believers to counsel the younger ones. Getting wisdom from someone who’s further down the road is invaluable. ..maybe even more so – they’re better able to provide scouting than your peers. It’s far trendier, and less awkward, to seek advice and help of your friends. But when it comes to finding a husband, older woman and couples, have a lot more to offer.
Get someone that can challenge you, get you to a higher standard, how to dress like a lady, eating better and exercising.
If you only spend time with people in the same season of your life you’re in, the competition for available men likely be fierce. But if your friends span the generations, it’s probable they will know or be related to eligible men.
“Relationships ebb and flow; what’s important is that this guy carries the qualities and characteristics of a godly man you’ve been waiting for.” (words from the authors pastor.)
Where are the men? And are they actually interested in marriage?
In one word, sleeping. Most of the men in our culture haven’t had any high expectations to meet. …so they’re passive. But you can encourage them, by the greatest motivation, your belief. They need a women who see in them, and encourage, what God designed men to be. Your respect is what leads to his pursuit.
“I gives me things to think of.“
I’ve read this verse before, but it has never hit me like it does in this context. It has open up my eyes of “what a man looking for in me” and how I should start to act and be and say things to a man. In the beginning of this book I thought “I will just read it” but now when I still haven’t got further then half of the book I realize this book is much heavier then I thought! In a good way thou. I gives me things to think of. How am I acting with a man? Am I actually encouraging him? should I skip some things when I am mumbling? I have to say I like this book more and more as deeper I get and as further I read in it. It challenging me!
In this chapter “waking up a great sleeper” the author who been in the same situation her self, talks about her experience and how she met her husband. What her mentor challenged her to do in the same time how she learn to be more lady-like in her mind, what she was wearing and also how important it actually is to take care of our body in a physical way – to go to the gym. She talks about Discern His Charater, Assess His Potential, Ask the Right Questions, Encourage His Spiritual Maturity and Dream With Him. The last part of “dream with Him” is more in the sentence of when you actually got him on some dating. I have just read this chapter and I have say, it have open up new ways, thoughts how I will try it out in real life!
“went to visit her and her husband before they leave for holiday to Australia for three weeks“
I went to my Aussie friend yesterday Wednesday to visit her and her husband before they leave for holiday to Australia for three weeks and to give them the “Birth-annonsment” I’ve made in cross-stitching during the last month (and I haven’t done cross-stitching in ten years!). They were thankful for the gift and it was cool to see them! 🙂
“I also got a gift from her“
The two of us, me and my Aussie friend went to our South African friend to “say good bye, see you later have a great year”-evening with some other International friends. Thankful I went! Not just that I had the chance to meet her again before she fly’s home to her mom in South Africa in two day, I also got a gift from her. A purse. A red purse! Some fancy brand also.
Red makes me happy.
So Happy for the purse!
A week ago when I met her she asked me if I would like some more movies at home. Well I can’t say no to watch a dvd-movieor more. I like to watch something else I haven’t already seen three times! So when I arrived to her (yesterday) she say, hey before I forget “here is the movies”.
“it had started to rain, like someone open the heaven…“
Some hours later I was heading home, got a ride with two friends heading the same direction it had started to rain, like someone open the heaven… during the time we where all inside, so it was a bit of a chock that the sky “was open” and it poured out on us. On the way home-ish in the car it was really bad raining! They left me in a spot close to my regular bus. Oh so wet I went in few minutes! I would say I was wet through all my cloths. Anyway, I made it home. I don’t know how you are when you been out in the rain you didn’t know of to come. But I am like this, If I get soaked wet I really want to watch a movie. Doesn’t really matter what time of the day it is. I think I was home around 11pm, and in the mood to watch a movie! That I did. And of all the movies I could choose from I saw “Confessions of a Shopaholic”. Fun movie! And you can learn something from it too.
“even if it was closer to 2am and bed time then to start sort out!”
I guess it gave me inspiration to see if I had something I could give away, because that was what I did (even if it was closer to 2am and bed time then to start sort out!). It is so often that I see something in my wardrobe and think “when did I use this the last time?”. I have to say this is the first time in a very loooooong time I’ve done something just because I just seen a movie!
And I did find cloths I haven’t used in a long while and today it will go and put into the 2ndstore – Fretex container. What a good feeling when it’s more space!
Since last blog I am Happy and Thankful for what happened during the meeting I had last Thursday. I went to this meeting at PS: Hotel to see and hear if I could start a work-experience there, and I will. I got all the information about how it work and what will be the plan for me when I start.
I will start the 1st of August. The first week will I be there – in the reception – hopefully from 0800am to 1200 (lunch) Monday to Friday. The second week I will be there also Monday to Friday 1400 to 1800. Those two weeks is all about learning as much as possible and after that I will start earlier and also work weekends.
But hey, right now I am just in the happiness-moon So Thankful I finally got a door open, have opportunity to get the opportunity to be in a Hotel reception and get the work-experience I need to get the dream-job.
This is what I have been waiting for, praying for and asked God for in my life to happened. God has been patience and given me so much patience the last year.
It is one year and one month since I was doing something where I had routines, things to do and had colleges. One more week of doing those things I have pushed a head of me… I have been to IKEA and other stores to get things I’ve needed for some time. I am going to the optician, my orthopedist those last days of this last week. And I manage to get the wrong date of my nieces Birthday. Big Ooooops! But it’s on its way in few hours.
Yea, since last blog I have actually been swimming three more times. Lovely to be in the water and swim some but the heat is not in a good combination with my body. I feel like I am a “siesta” person, that I am born in the wrong continent in the same time I know I would not survive to live in a warmer continent.
I love the winter, snow and when it is minus degrees.
In summer-time I love it when it is not more then around plus 22 degrees C, that’s perfect for my body and me! It is enough warm for me to live. Warmer and I do not live I just survive. And the different between “just survive” to actually “live” is big!
Anyway…
I am Happy and looking forward to start a new chapter in my life!
Yesterday I received a phone-call about my future. In my head I thought I would received a letter, but hey a phone-call is better and quicker.
I woke up of my phone vibrating in my bed, my consultant from NAV was calling because I send her a msg yesterday. …So today I’m sitting here in front of my lap top thinking about “who am I?” and “what is my qualities?” with my coffee on my left side of me in the mean time my cat Silver playing around with some paper. It’s not an interview it’s a small meeting with information about what they can offer and what kind of expectations I have.
Lets go back in time so I can explain what’s this is about.
SO I took a course in office and administration two years ago. A really good course I would say. I learned a lot new stuff I didn’t know and it went over 30 weeks and then it was a period of work-experience over 90 days or three months depending ho you want to express your self. I had three months of work-experience in the same building as I took the course, which for me wasn’t a problem. The problem was that I didn’t get a job there after the three months and I didn’t get the experience I needed to work in the field I wanted. I have had a year of applying to jobs with no luck because I don’t have what’s requested. But God has given me a new term of patience in my life and he let me be myself and enjoy life in a way I haven’t enjoyed it before.
So in December last year I had an appointment with my consultant at NAV about what this KVP (Qualifying Program) is and how to apply to it, what I needed from my doctor and if it was something else we needed to think of. I got the appointment with my doctor, got the paper to my consultant and the process was there.
In March I started a process to “pick up the phone” and ring all kinds of Hotel’s because that’s my dream. I want to work with booking and in the reception in a Hotel, I would fit perfect to work during the night. (For those who knows me, they would say yes, that’s where you belong. Because I am so much a night-owl.) Unlucky no Hotel’s could give me a spot. One of the reasons was they went all out on strike in April and during May. So when June came along I felt this is over and I texted my consultant and we started the process we are in now.
In the end of May we applied for me to get a spot in this Hotel, (PS: Hotel in Oslo) to have work-experience. And yesterday as I said before, I received the phone-call and will have a meeting tomorrow.
I am now looking forward to start asap even though I would like to have some-kind of Holiday before. Well I guess I’ll know after tomorrow when I can start and how soon I’ll have Holiday.
I been thinking about what I’ve done for the last few month since I moved in here…It’s actually been quite much.
Since I moved in here I’ve met new people from an ecumenical Christians group, the 3rd of June I took my first swim in the Fjord, it was at least +20 C in the water. Lovely! (but I have not done it since…)
(The trip went the 18th of June with two male friends from my Church, I’ve been writing of this before so I skip it.) This week was also a creative week at home. I made some hanging basketsfor my flowers, fixed some pants and made a home-made pizza.
The 11th of June had the ecumenical group a new gathering with this group. An evening in the team of “prophetic gives”. Very interesting!
The Monday after I had dinner with my friend (who been to Bible-school) and catch up time for the last year and shared with her a bit from the Saturday evening. Lovely time!
And how much that have been happening during this year in both her and my life! Good stuff!!
I went back to the same area the day after but to visit my friend with the twine’s. Great time to spend with them!!
A bit more then a moth ago now, got I a summer-haircut, a bit to short for my taste but hey my hair grows like grass. So now one and a half month later I have the length I like. 🙂
before and after.
Two days after the Sweden-trip a friend of mine came to visit me in this apartment. We had some good few hours just chatting and catching up what’s going on in each others life’s. It was nice!
I’ve been cooking both soup and dinner that now is in the freezer, I love it when I have the energy to do that and fill up my freezer.
I would love to have a bigger freezer but hey, I can’t have everything at once.
In the boxes (from Sweden) I have found so many things that I both didn’t know I was missing until I found them and off-course things I do have been missing. One of those thing was the mop-set to clean my apartment with the green soap.
I love that scent!
I found the cross-stitching box so I started to make something to a friend (I can’t write what because she hasn’t got it get).
In the end of June I had a friend (who lives in Seattle) staying in my home. Nice, cool and fun. She stayed four days. Lovely time to have! I have to get a job so I can go and stay in her home!
Bobbi Jo from Seattle.
About two weeks ago I realized I needed and wanted new shoes, some kind of boots that I could use during Spring-Summer-Autumn. A shoe I actually been looking for, for some time. So I went into a store just looking around to see if I could find something I liked. And I didn’t want something “normal” like brown or black. No I wanted something more colorful (because that’s me). But what did I buy? Brown boots. Haha moment! But I realized brown is good. They match my two brown purses I have perfectly.
I’ve been creative with fabric colors, screen print and shoe-pattern. I have not been sewing as much I’d hope for but hey I’ll do it later.
I’m on Instagram as well. By name; creativemiasimone.new earrings for the moment.
I made pie of cherries from the garden and forest berries from the freezer yesterday. Yummy!
I’ve been to the island Bygdøy here in Oslo with a friend, to chill, talk and walk, I’ve been social with other friends on a movie (which I normally do twice a year).
Bygdøy.
I enjoy life!
So far has this summer showed us a mix of weather like thunder-storms, sun and rain still with summer-temperature between +13 C to +24 degrees C. Which I think is totally fine.
I’ve been reading books on the nights – just the thing I love to do during the summer!!! I gives me Summer-feeling maximum. A happy feeling.
I want to have a Holiday-feeling which I haven’t had since my last job…which is more then five years ago.. So maybe I’ll get some-kind of Holiday this Summer.
I’ve taken this year to read more in the bible and stay away as much as possible from all kinds of sex-temptations on social media, television and books. So far so good. I wanted to see for myself if I could and how I would managed it. I am not sin-free as a Christian, I have lusts as much as any other human but I can chose to not have lust and I can chose to not get deep into it as much as I can chose to not do or eat certain things in life.
In the beginning of this year I took a stand against “sex & the city” -series just because the hole series is about sex. How to get “one-night-stand” etc. I love the series out of Carries life even if it’s not even close to the actors life. I get inspirited out of how “Carrie” writes the column and how it shows that life isn’t as easy as many other series wants us the watchers to think. But it’s a lot in this series I do not like, so therefore I stopped watching for a year, to see how I might react to it if I watch it again (now in about six months).
When I read this;
“lust and normal sexual attraction are not the same thing. Lust is a form of selfishness and a dangerous ingredient to sexual temptation. Significantly, this kind of temptation can rear its ugly head both inside and outside of marriage.”
I knew I need to write, I needed to vent, I needed to get all my thoughts out somehow… So here I am writing out of my life.
So what is temptation…well everything you want to do but probably should not do. Like if you are in a relationship, you should not look at other guys/girls. You should focus on what you have! Your boy/girlfriend or husband/wife or partner you are living with or are engaged to.
I am still single but have since few years back (not all my life as most girls) got a desire to get married and the fact I want to be a mom (witch also is not something I have always wanted) (!) I do want to meet the guy that fits me, can balance me and in the end have sex and start a family. And until I meet this guy I know I have had lust (or as this line express it; “It might be more helpful to set aside the concept of lust in this context and to think instead in terms of insensitivity or disregard for the needs, preferences, and desires of one’s partner. This, is a serious form of sexual temptation”, in my life for years.
I know that even after the day I got Christian those thoughts was still there mostly because no-one told me how to get them out of my life or my brain. I had to find it out of my own… I have done stupid things even as a Christian but what I have learn the last year is that, if I know I sin (as a Christian) God forgives me. How? Well as long as I know I do something wrong I can confess it with my tongue and heart. And when I confess, God forgives me. It does not mean I should continue doing it! It’s a long walk of learning!
I went to Sweden Saturday the 18th of June because I had to go and get my things from the storage place I’ve used for all the years I’ve been living here in Norway (soon 9 years), if I didn’t go and get it it would have been send to a 2nd hand store which I did not want.
We left around 8:20 am from Oslo, me and two strong male friends from my Church. A trip that took longer then we thought it would take. It isn’t longer then 400km one way and it should take around 5,5 – 6 hours but it took nearly 7,5 one way. Well we had our lunch-stop at IKEA Karlstad…
IKEA Karlstad.
So we arrived to Svärdsjö, outside of Falun, Dalarna at 2 pm outside the chapel which was the storage place – Svärdsjö is really on the country side! Cozy farming area about 26km northwest of Falun. We walked around stretching our legs before we started the packing into our Van, which went smoothly even if I found stuff I totally had forgotten, we were done in 2,5-3 hours. Hitthe road hungry so our first stop was for food at MAX – a Swedish burger business. Back on the road at 8 pm with the same amount of Scandinavian miles a head of us (400km).. few necessary stop’s like peeing and gas otherwise just a lot of laughs in the car. We came finally home to Oslo around 2 am Sunday-morning maximum tired after nearly 17 hours on the road. Crazy trip!But now it’s over. 🙂
MAX Falun. The Van with the “burger as a crown” was our.
Borlänge, Sweden.Following E16 to Oslo.“Grab a coffee” at Djurås, Dalarna.Pasting on the road-trip..
God have prepared a lot before the whole trip started! and I have been SO blessed through the whole trip! God made me be able to borrow a business-car for free via a friend in Church only gas to pay. Strong male friends from Church and an other guy helped me unload on Monday. All this is a “WOW”-feeling for me who hasn’t a job and whom mainly just go to the gym twice a week and is home and “just being creative”. I feel blessed to have a Church with so nice and good friends that can help out in this kind of situation!
We carried it all in Monday and it look like a mountain on the middle of the floor…Luckily I can sort it out and that I have storage space in the apartment. 🙂
For the first time in my “new” apartment I finally have my table from my mom’s ant I been missing a lot to sit and be creative at, read, sewing or just write the blog-post’s. A table I in-harried from my mom’s ant in the 90’s. It’s just in-front of the window. I created a good inspiration-corner. It gives me “flash back’s” to Carrie in Sex & the City, how she sits and write her column to the news paper. It’s not near the same view but it is a window spot.
So here it is, in my not to big apartment my “creative-inspiration corner”…
I did quite much between 5 pm Saturday and 02 am Sunday morning! When I woke up Monday morning I started where I stopped. And one of the first thing I manage to do was to drag the table over the boxes in place. So nice! And in the middle of “to sort out” yesterday I had laundry Day…and it started to rain just after I had hanged my laundry out to dry in the wind… well well isn’t that life so say. 🙂
And here I am writing a blog-post on the laptop on the table. Happy feeling! But I still today have some boxes to sort out and to move away and see how much more that will go to Fretex (the 2nd hand store here in Norway).
I can only say I am blessed to live here not just because my Land Lord and Land Lady. I have been blessed in so many periods here in Norway. God is so real for me. He is a part of my Daily life and I know he provides everything in my life, both with the people I have around me and also everything that happens in my life. As I wrote higher up, I don’t have a job and I haven’t been working in the last five years and still God walk beside me in everything I do. I know that everything I have done so far has been a part of his plan for me. And God provides me with food, like dinner with friends and cloths when my finances is bad. He sorts out things in my life like I am sorting out my belongings in the boxes right now. He leads me into new social activities and groups so I can meet new people when I feel I walking around in a circle with many of my old friends. He leads me on new paths in life and what to do.
He have showed me several times during those soon nine years I’ve lived in Norway that it is here He wants me to Live and now I do not have anything left in Sweden that holds me there.
I’ll show you the creative thing I did yesterday.
Coffee cups with painting before they got into the Owen.
This blog-post will be repeated more then once but with new pictures and new text during this summer as an update of “what I found and finished up”.
I wanted to sew a skirt or a jacket but I have to keep my budget strict this month, but during my search of an interesting pattern and not to complicated I found a bag of what I thought was just fabric. But oh so wrong I was, it was a start of a par of pants I stared on I think last Summer. Linen fabric, just so nice a warm Summer! Also something I have been thinking of “do I have any linen fabric at home?” And there it was. Such a nice feeling! I think I stopped those projects most because of lacking space and now I do have just that. Space. I have a hobby-room! 🙂
So I found my iron and started the new “face” of those pants. Iron them, sewing them together as far as I manage before my back “said” pain.
So this blog will be about all kind of “lost projects” I will find in all the hidden bags or boxes of fabric, which is quite much. I’ll also try to build a cloths-hanger during June because lack of space to hang my cloths, to my walk-in-closet by re-used parts from a bookshelf from the -50’s in metallic.
Here is my inspiration in life to get up every morning, to do what I manage, to live, to get through the day. My staircase..
The gym.Silver – my cute cat.
Life on a stick, isn’t that what the saying says? It’s a short line and expression of how life is…
Life is like a staircase. You walk up and some days you walk back. But to get up to the top is the best, because there you’ll see what’s hiding from you. You’ll see the light, all the things you know and don’t know.
It’s been almost three months of searching on my own to find a place where I could have a new work-experience, with no luck. It’s been a journey of it’s own. It’s been fun most days.I challenge myself and made it. But I have now come to an end and gonna apply for part-time jobs which is what I can manage with this body today. If I in the future will manage a full-time job is not in my head right now, but will see maybe I’ll be there again. I hope so. Right now I just need to focus on the gym twice a week and then get in to a good job-routine with structure.
I am still walking my staircase. It’s an interesting climbing to reach my future. And I am still looking forward to see what this year have to give me and what it will bring me even after five month into 2016. I am still as curious what new things I’ll learn on the way!
So today is the first day in three months I am gonna look for and hopefully apply for a job. In the meantime my consult at NAV will try to help me to get me a work-experience place that can lead to a job. So every day I have enough energy I’ll look for a job and I’ll have my breaks, I’ll find something that fits me! I haven’t given up! I see the light in the tunnel.
When I was a teenager, I think I was around 14 y.o. was I on a camp for Christians teenagers and during this camp we had prayer and worship in the morning and in the evening. And one of those evenings someone prayed for me with words “you gonna be a prayer woman”. That line of words have during all my years been in the back of my head even those years when I didn’t wanna have anything to do with Christians or believe on God.
Few years later, I think it was in 2002 an other person prayed for me in an other situation and gave me those words “God gonna use you and your creative gifts to reach others”. That is also something I have been wondering about. How will God use my creative gifts to reach others? But I have to say, that after I came back to God and been climbing my latter to be who I am today. God started to show me how to use my creative gifts after 2007 until today. He is really using my creative and visual gift in the that when I pray for someone God most the time gives me a picture, a verse or just a line of words, that for me most the time it doesn’t mean much for me but I know that it means a lot for the person. I have received so much feedback of all the things God have given me to others. I know today, this is one of the gifts God have given me.
And few weeks ago (2016) when I was praying for a friend in my house church (cell-group) I received what I think is the prophetic gift. Which for me was both scary and wonderful! (Maybe this was an answer of what friends have telling my?) I started to dig to learn more about this. I shared it with two of my best Christian friends about what I felt and received and how I could found out more in the bible and how could I learn more about as a dispel and curious Christian? One of my friend she is in a bible-school in the states this year and her respond was easy, «I’ll send you a book about this» and she did. (Which I am reading now to learn more.) My other friend who also is in USA (living there right now) she said I’ll pray for you and ask God to show you more. And God has been answering my questions along since that day! Every time I asking God of guidance He is there and let me cry out in his presence and fill me with more love, grace and joy in my life.
He is there to fulfill what he started. He has a plan for my life and journey. He knows what he is doing. He has control! And I just want to learn more about what he has for me.
It is with Joy I am learning more about this.
It is by Grace I live.
It is by Love God makes my day.
It is by Patience I get through a hard or heavy day in life or that I still don’t have a job to go to.
It is by Patience from God I get through everything in life.
He has promise me to be here for every step I take and he is!
To received a gift from God and learn about how to use it is a journey it self! It takes time to understand and it takes time to understand how to use it and when. But it is with Joy! I am curious to learn more and I can only wait and see what more God has for me in this.
Different thoughts has past my brain the last two weeks about what I could write as a blog this time. Thoughts like how my moving-day went, how it is to do a re-start to get to the gym again, what my thoughts are if a guy shows me interests and how I react or not react to how fun it is to have enough space and a cat. I am not sure yet how this blog will end, but it will be one. Maybe a bit more random blog then most of them.
*****
The moving-day went well and we were done after four hours of carrying all my stuff from the basement to the attic. 60 stair steps up and down.
A good workout that day!
I had to put my cat Silver in the bathroom until we were done, just so he would not be in the way. I do not think he was happy with that, but SO happy when I let him out.
It was kind of cool to watch Silver when he starts to wander around, a discovery tour of the apartment nosy as he is (he is a cat). But it was not as popular from his his side when I started moving furniture. But then here one and a half weeks later, after we moved in here, he is as usual. He feels at home.
An other thing that have past my brain is how grateful and thankful I am for the moving! How thankful I am to have such a good bunch of friends that could help me with my moving. I feel blessed for those friends.
I am also thankful for my land lord he is a great man! He has blessed me every-time I am late to pay my rent, only late because I have not received my monthly money from the government support-system.
I am so blessed to live here! In so many ways. Good neighbors. Generosity from neighbors etc. The house it self is not in the best stand but the neighbors are awesome! Easy to talk to and get along with.
It is definitely more space for Silver too, which is the noise of his play I wakes up to around 02.30 am… but he also sleeps on top of my legs when he sleeps a hole night.
He loves to sit in the window when it is open by approximately 10 cm. He does not try to get out but love to smell everything he’s not used to.
He is so curious to watch what happens in the courtyard. For example, he likes to sit and watch when Greta (landlady) runs out her car from the garage, walk out of the car, shutting the garage door and go back to the car to then reverse out of the courtyard. This takes maybe 5 minutes, but Silver find it so funny to watch.
*****
As I wrote above have I thought about how I react and what I do if some guy trying to show that he is interested in me. I have been hurt before as many others, and I think that I would love to just drown in his eyes whenever the guy trying to get in contact with me. But I also know that if it is other friends around I don not dare to do drown. I know that’s the only thing I would love to do, to sit there and just sink into his eyes.
The look of love.
So how do I react then?
Well I trying to meet his look for few seconds and then I go back to the others like nothing Happened. But inside of me I am happy and insecure of «is he really interested in me?»
I know me. I need something specific from the guy to understand he is interested in me. Like a card with few words, text-MSG with a smile of love, coffee-date or similarity were he put words on what he thinks or likes with me. And the best is also if that also fit’s him as a person to do.
Why am I so sky when it comes to like someone? Why can’t just be myself when I am such an outgoing person the rest of the time? Why is it so difficult to see how love looks like in different people? And why is most Christian guys so careful and slow?
I mean it is great they are careful to make sure but how am I supposed to understand what a guy means when I need some specific words or «hands up» to understand. I am not that kind of girl that analyzes every tiny word or detail or eye-contact that a guy do or say. No. I am to realistic there. I see the situation and try understand the situation and if I don’t understand I leave it to God.
The things that helps me is bible verse like those (below)…
But now it is almost Easter I will have a perfect time for a blog with updates because I will try to have a Non Media Easter as much as possible.
I just have been in my packing mode... and still am.
This is how I feel.
So, what have I’ve done since last blog… well that is a good question! I have been sewing a lot for customers, for myself and I’ve been packing more then less every day and I have been going to the gym twice a week.
Re-sewed tiny baggypants to really baggypants.what I’ve sewed in February.
Re-sewed 2ndhand cloths.to the left, “when you only need one pocket” & a mini toilette bag.
In January I started this «non media fasting» because I got challenge to do that. February was not a month where I was «away» from media as in a week or not even seven days in a row. But I was not checking Facebook or Instagram every day which is in the right direction I want. I don’t have the need to post new things and I don’t have a need to check what’s happening on Facebook every day, which is the most often places I visit. And to realize that I don’t have a «need» is so relaxing! But I will try my best to not be on media this Easter, which I wrote in the beginning of this blog-post.
relaxing cup of tea.
Ten years back I was a very social person. I just had to be social with friends, later-on I was «hooked» on Facebook which isn’t good either. Now I just enjoy to be home take it easy, sew when I feel for it or read a good book. I don’t «hang» with friends more often then twice a month and those times are most likely a movie night during the dark part of the year or a rainy summer-day. I meet friends from Church every week except when it’s Easter or and other Holiday because I have a House Church I’ll join. (House Church is a smaller group of people that meets from Church once a week in someone’s home, we share the last week with each other, praying for each other and sometimes we also sing.)
March came and is nearly gone… and I can’t really say what I have done more then I’ve got in to a good rhythm with going to the gym… I was a part of a Christian Conference for Woman that is called Jesus Woman (Jesus Kvinner Nordisk 2016) in Oslo, Norway
and then few days later my back «crashed» because I was overdoing what my back could handle a pertinently… But I am doing fine now and trying to walk a bit more now when the snow and ice is gone.
It is for real Springtime outside. I love it even if I have some problems with the pollen.. And the rest of this month, I’ll actually pack the rest of the boxes and all that’s left to pack because I’m moving next weekend. I’m not moving far, but I upgrade from the basement apartment (on 25sqm) where I live now to the loft apartment and 15sqm bigger. 🙂 where I will be able to have a room just for my creativity! 🙂 and I will also go to Sweden and get a cat from my bonus baby-sister. And I haven’t had a cat in 19 years (!) but it will be nice to come home to something I’ll get feedback from when I say something.
My tower of boxes…Cat-carrier and Silver I receive during Easter.
I am reading a book about this subject right now because I am interesting about the thoughts and mind. I want to get married. I don’t want to be single for the rest of my life. I have had my own struggle with this for some years. For many years I didn’t wanna get married for the course of get my own kids, no, I wanted to get married and then see if I/we could adopt kids. But during the last 4 yearsGod has helped me to change my mind in this. It has been a struggle for me to come to the point I am today but probably worth it.
And during the Christmas holiday (December-15) God spoke to me about this much stronger then I have felt before. I got a longing desire from God to get married. I’ve got a desire to become a mom, a wife, have my family. And this is big for me.
In the book the writer talks about how we can’t really expect the «old style» any more about «how to sit and wait for the right one to show up» It doesn’t look like that in 2016! If you and me have a desire to get married we have to start looking for someone that are in our network and «qualifies» our personality. We have to be doing things and not just wait. Because if we wait, we will probably be waiting for the rest of our life.
It’s not just “what I want in your personality” its also to be able to see “what can you live with” and “how can we compromise each and an others issues?”.
To want to get married is a decision in life. It’s just like to be in-love with a person, it’s a decision you take. It is like if you or I want to take an education, we look for the right one, we apply and we starts it. Its a bit the same with I want to get married.
I am active.
I don’t just sit and wait.
Its not just the thought about «Yes I want to get married one day» well you might but it can take some longer time then you probably wanted. No, it is a decision «I want to get married» to start the process in your mind and soul, doing, acting and living!
It‘s How you Think about it.
It’s not just something that will just happen. It’s about you and me. Do I / you want to get married? If yes, then we have to something about it. We have to start talk about it like we talk about other normal things with our friends. We should not be afraid of talking about things we have on our heart with friends.
I think that if we talk more about this it want be so hard, tricky or awkward and both girls and guys will not be so sky or embarrass about the subject and actually ask someone out.
Whats the worst answer you can get? A no?
Sometimes I think we all are to fast to say those words “no I don’t think we fit each others”. How and what are you grounding this on? Have you seen that much of the persons personality that you know what God’s plan is?
I have been a part of a New Years festival here in Oslo, Norway and been challenged to have Media fasting. I will have it once a month and I am gonna do it from Facebook, Instagram and my blog. I will do it for a whole week every time. I will start the 4th of January.
For me is it more to be aware of life.
To be still.
To be here.
I will have more over to actually meet friends more regularly, be with God and work out twice a week. And read more good books, eat more fruit and less sugar and probably something more. To be able to have other experiences in life then be more addicted to the social media I have around myself.
It is not one of this New Years Resolutions, no. My New Years Resolution is to not eat sugar at least the first 100 days but hopefully for the rest of the year or at least less sugar and to do more things that is good for my body and soul. To be aware of where the sugar is.
Cutting back on sugar has more benefits than just weight loss.
I actually started yesterday on the 31st of December 2015 when I went down to one of the sports stores by buying a fitness ball for my back. I will use it instead of a chair. To get my back into the right balance and to build up the core muscles. It actually helps me.
The word “dreams” means different things for each of us. For you it can be a goal to do something, a daydream, vision or a good night-dream. It says that “to dream” is good for the brain and if you are a creative person you mostly dream more.
I dream a lot during the night. Mostly its unrealistic. Doesn’t make sense. But I still do it. I guess my brain has a lot to work with maybe because I am quite creative and have lots of ideas rolling around.
Some of my dreams are true. Like the one I had in the winter off 2005. I was living in Småland on the east coast south of Stockholm, Sweden. There and then it was just one of this unrealistic dreams. I dreamed I was sitting in a garden, didn’t know where I were. It was at the terrasse on the backside of a white stone house. And it was lots of fruit trees there and cozy. I was living there. And to dream this, when it was winter where I were and that I got all the details was in my head “one of those weird dreams”.
Two and a half years later or more was I sitting in that garden. I was living there, as in the dream. Weird! One of the days in May I think it was. I went out on the terrasse and got this “weird feeling” of “I have been here before”. It was there and then I realized this was the dream I had in Småland in 2005.
Most of my dreams are unrealistic but I remember they all when I wake up, and with every little detail, conversation, colors, area, how things are build or the team. I could write it all down but I have never done it because I remember it. Its like my brain has its own life..and just need to work all the creative ideas through hard. Every little idea becomes so big during the night.
But I also have dreams about what I wanna do later in life. I dream about to be able to buy a small house in the forest of Värmland, Västergötland or Halland, in Sweden. To have my own place where I can escape or just go and be alone, to create, to get inspiration and to invite friends for holidays. Or the dream of an old farm-Barn which I would like to change into a workshop for my business. I’m not a big “day dreamer” in the sense of what we as kids most did.
And I have dreams that has become goals in life. Like the thing to get a job and be able to travel more. To see the world.
As most of the friends I have, they like to travel. I want that too! I have started to dream of places I didn’t think about ten fifteen years ago that I wanna see, like New York, Chicago, Boston, San Fransisco, Seattle, Canada and Alaska. Maybe parts of Asia like Thailand or the Philippines – countries that in my head are “to hot” for me just because I don’t really like to much sun. But who says I have to go there when its the warmest period for the season? When I actually can travel when it fits me.
I wanna start travel now before its to late in life. I want to travel for the wish my mom had all my life and she in the end never did because of other things in her life stopped her. I want to see and explore Europe instead of my mom. My mom said many times “When I retired I’m gonna see Europe”. One of her biggest wishes where to see Praha and Berlin. She never got to see those places because of my dad got more then one stroke and she needed to be home with him.
I wanna do this for her and I will keep dreaming of new places.
A friend of min told me she got more inspired to pick up her writing after I told her about my writing. I like to hear thing like this, that my creativity inspires others.
I got more inspired to write after that.
When my friends tell me that they get inspired of my creativity in life or small things I share with them about life. My first though is “how do I inspire you with my life?” then I think “well I guess that is a good thing”. And when I talk to my nearest friends about this, most of them says “its just how you live that inspires me”.
How do we get inspire in life and what inspires us? Well I know that we all find inspiration in thing we like. Like colors, cars, flowers, interior, houses, garden, music, words, life, nature and more. But how do you make that as a part of your life?
When I, like yesterday was on the beach and read one of my favorite books I had the sea on my left side where I was sitting, heard the water moving and made waves. I got inspired to go and find “floating timber-wood” along the water edge and bring home. And there I was walking around to find those good “floating timber-wood” and I got inspired to pick up some blue shells lying on the beach and bring home.
I get inspired of a lot of different things in life. It can be like yesterday, by the water or to walk into a store full of colorful fabrics or interior store. Its rare that I buy something, but I get home full of ideas in my head with everything I’ve seen and I most the time make something out of what I have home.
And I think its the same for most people. You all get inspired of something in life and you try to do something else out of it. It can be to write about it, paint it, write music, to sing or something else. And I wish you all find your way to be creative in the way that fits you.
The last year went past fast and a new year heading us with thing we may know but also a new adventure. I see this year in Positivity terms with a lot of new things I just gonna ENJOY. I am trying to just LIVE LIFE and ENJOY everything that comes along.
For me, this year started with a good feeling and as the days goes I feel it more and more. 🙂 So far has the missing creativity coming back more and more and that I have decided to do some changes in my life has only been a positive effect.
Yesterday was the end of the week at the course I take and my body was tired but when a friend of mine text me ask me if I wanted to go to the Prayer of Oslo I felt this is hat I am lacking right now. And it was just hat I needed. I needed just to come and be and listen to what was saying and listen to the music. Out of this has I now got more energy and inspiration to be more creative in all different ways. One of the things I am gonna fix or I am gonna end a project I’ve started in… September maybe.. I am also gonna see what I need to do about the vintage dress I bought in last August. I have always ideas in my head what to do or fix and that’s who I am. For me that’s normal, but what’s not normal is to not have any creativity.
This year I am gonna try to end my projects I start, to have my own deadline on things. I am also wishing for a good job soon, and that I will be able to go visit my mum who is sick with Alzheimer… I wish that this year will be a year with lots of adventures in my life in a good way and in different directions.
With this comes also that I will try to write here more often than last year and that who ever who reads this will get inspiration of what is happening in my life or out of what I am doing.
mia-simone. svenberg 