Online dating – mia-simone. svenberg

Online dating (annoying or not) part 9.

I have now been talking to this man for approxy 4 weeks. We went from talking on the dating app to Snap to WhatsApp. It’s been a journey of it’s own! We don’t have any issue to talk about anything and everything. We have figured out that we have a lot in comman yet many things where we are the opposite which I think is good.

We both want to get to know the other on a friend level and build the relationship from that place. We share values and we are both Christians – which is the part I never though I actually would find a Christian man – but here he is.

My question to myself is – will it be as good when we meet as it is now when we are talking or will it not be anything at all or could it be even better? Am I doubting this concept? Well for sure I can feel I am doubting.

I don’t have good experience of online dating so far in my life, and i started to do oline dating all ready 15-20 years ago(!)

My prayers are; pls let it be good chemistry between us when we meet so all thing we have been talking about won’t be for nothing! Pls let it be better then when we talking. And pls let us be able to continue on this friendship, let it grow into love and bigger.

The Journey of Oline dating, isn’t as streight forward as people migth think… It’s many bumps and other obstacles on the road, many questions, doubts and more especially if you don’t live or work on the same continent or in the same land!!

To have focus on the good feeling, the feeling of chemisrty is important and pray together and for each other if you share that. If you don’t share it, pray for him/her. In prayers the Lord can sow and harvest things you can’t.

To be adults and be able to be open of everything is important for me. So I asked questions very early in our conversation, things that are important for me. And he has done that too. 🙂

Offcourse we have different thoughts about things, but I think one of the most important thing when you trying to get to know a man/woman through online dating is to be flexible and open to change yourself if it something he/she like to so and you never tryed it before or never done it, like in my case. He loves snorkling – something I never done. But just because I never done it doesn’t mean I will never do it – so if I am open minded here I might be able to have a good experience one day with him for what he likes 🙂 .

We talk a lot about what each of us want’s in the future partner, qualities and personal characteristics, hobbies, future place to live have we discussed – mainly cause we have a ocean between us (!) Even when he is at work, cause he is an engineer and work different place.

We have our own journey and backpacker we carry with us, all of ous who are dating. Where are our focus in all this? And how do we cope with it all? Well it’s up to each of us to find a pattern that fits us and share it with the one we date. If you are lucky to meet IRL or like me being online for weeks before the first meeting, yet I have to find a good pattern and spend time with him when it fit’s his schedule. And support each other even more important when it’s a distance between us/you two!

To dream by yourself and later with your partner, I guess that’s what we all are doing. Dreaming of a partner when we are single is one thing and an other thing when you meet someone you like not just for how he/she looks like but for whom he/she is. No matter where you are in life right now you are dreaming for something i life, I do. So we are all “the same”. We all have vissions about life and what we want to do, travel, for work etc.

This picture of the hot air balloon, is my dream cause I love heights – yes I do! If I had the money I would love to get married in a hot air balloon ride for sure.

I choose this picture of the hot air balloon for an other reason too, not just for dreams or cause I have it on my blog. No. it’s something about this picture I like and I think it’s the space around it, the freedom, the clouds, the simplicity of where it is and going. A bit like me and maybe you. We have a freedom, a simplicity if we want it from the Lord. We just need to see it 🙂 . Sometimes we are “to focused” on here and now that we forget about the plan that isn’t ours but the Lord. He can see us everywhere and places we have issues to see infront of us because we don’t allow us that picture.

But back to the “core” of this post….

I believe I met this man in the right time for me, maybe especially cause most other things in my life is so uncertan (work and if I am going to stay where I live right now). I hadn’t given up on “finding” someone. No, I had good conversations with the Lord on this. And the Lord gave me more and more patience on this area. The funny thing is that thirteen years ago when I moved to this region the first time I got a line from the Lord saying “next time you live here, you will meet a man a future hubby”. The Lord never said when or how long I had to live here before meeting this hubby ^^haha^^. But the point is, the Lord had a plan and on the way he gave me more and more patience to where I am and waiting on my future husband 😉 .

I just have to believe and trust the Lord.

Online dating (annoying or not), part 7.

Suddely and I mean that. Have I started to talk to a guy. Not believer Christian. But it’s okay for me because of the deal I have with the Lord. He took the first propper contact 😊😊.

And as more we talk as more he acts and respect my thoughts and if I don’t want hom to send a picture or msg je doesn’t 😊and in my head he becomes more and more as a gentleman. He surprise me in many ways. He isn’t like most other guys I’ve talked to on the same age as him. And this is positive!

Is this to good to be true or not?

I wont give you details but can say he is Norwegian. It doesn’t become awkward or silent if I ask him something oh no he is better then that. 🙂. He ask as much as me 😊. Seems really interesed. Wants to meet on a date and two if the chemesrty is there, which I think it actually can be. But we just have to wait…

I can’t say ‘he is more mature becauce he has a kid’ because I’ve talked to other guys with kids not as mature as this one! Trust me.

In this dating app, you can choose to take a test that looks at personality, openness, personal traits, housekeeping and order, sloppiness etc. It’s a personality test to find out who.one fits best with, a type of algorithm.

Me and this guy, score pretty much the same on the 5 biggest areas that the dating app prioritises. …like, 84% on cohabitation (sex and cohabitation, equality, house order, exercise and health). 94% on interest (sport, culture, music, travel and nature). 88% on communication and 76% on personality.

I am impressed! Not just on this guy, no. How the Lord has been with me so far and still is, His way of guiding me steps! I haven’t really been looking looking for a match so far this year. My words to the Lord were ” I’ll put this “chasing” and need you to guide my steps or answer the guy who contact me”. And that is what happend here 😊.

When I put my trust into the Lord he provides!

…But it will not be any date with this guy anyway 😔, he has blocked me. As sudden as it felt good it feels like a “poof” of something good just went away. Can’t really put words on what I think or feel for something like this. I guess it was too good to be true 😔.

This happend approxy a year ago too…

Well well, I “keep searching fir mr right” even though I don’t search more looking.

Online dating (annoying or not), part 6.

The most annoying part of online dating is all those guys and yes I mean guys! Who just show interesst in me because I look young and have past 40. So tired of them! They only want one thing and still think woman also just want that 😔😔. Pls grow up! And pls understand not all woman wants that.

Or I end up chatting with some okay interesting man that lives far far away and can chat forever… or who has focus on how much you 2 need to have in comman… Sorry that’s not me. I know it takes time and effort to get to know an other person no matter if this person “just” will end becoming my friend or future boyfriend. But it seams like I am quite alone thinking that 🤪🤪

I don’t say I will give up. No I do believe “someone” is out there for me. So I just have to switch focus. In the meanwhile I am trying to get back to work after one week on sick leave and be thankful for those I do have around me.

2nd annoying r those who don’t understand the point of a profile txt!! Or those who just like “cute” pictures 🤪🤪🤬.

I have been on snap with a guy, he thought I was “the right girl” for him. He was convinst I were what he was lo8king for. 😆😆. I tryed to get him to understand that it’s a bit smart to be objective when you want to get to know an other person but he was only in his normal track. Wrong track for me. He “showed” some, for me important sides, but they didn’t last 😔. When he send me pictures I didn’t ask for & I asked him to respect me and what I didn’t want. He didn’t. So I ditched him. I just can’t stand a person who can’t respect me and my values.

Just because “we all” are out on some dating app dosen’t mean we all “just do whatever we want” and “give a shit” about values and not respecting others out there. I do know a lot of people do, give a shit, but I don’t!

Online dating (annoying or not), part 5.

To get 2 know an other person through an app, u need time & patience. U need 2 ‘through’ u out there & write about who u r, post pictures from ur daily life. U need 2 confront ur thinking & more important compromice w/ urself. Why? Well becauce most of the time the person u trying 2 get 2 know living in an other area from u and u can’t just go there. U need 2 through urself out there 2 find someone.

U need 2 write so someone understand what u are looking for, to catch something that is u. U need 2 compromice with urself. What is the most important for u 2 not just beliefs and values?!? And how are u appreciate ur self and other peoples values? How do u talking, writing, txting, blogging mm.

U need 2 have pictures on ur profile if u want someone to get curious on u. U need details from ur life. Make it short but interesting. U can talk 2 more then one but u should not date more then one person at once! And ask as much as u can If u live far away from each other.

Dig into the details as far as u managed to ur values, don’t let other peoples voices hindering u to figuer out what u want to know. Only u know what u are curious about. No question is wrong. If u feel the conversation goes into an area u dont like u only say STOP and explain why u don’t want to talk about it. And if he/she doesn’t listen to u, he/she isn’t worth more txting becauce he/she doesn’t respect u.

In today’s suciety among Christians “u shouldn’t get into certain areas in txting.” I think that is up to u and ur relationship with the Lord. Talk loud to the Lord and pray for guidence.

Only you know you. Your limits. But be careful!! Don’t do or write things you don’t want!! Remeber what you stand for and what you want or not want. He/she can’t say or write things you don’t like and tell you to do it. Then he/she isn’t worth txting with!

And then it comes to how and when you start txting on snap or simular app or start to call each other. What do u share? Where are ur limits? How far are u willing to go to share? Well it’s up to u. But I would not recomand to share intimicy! He/she probably want u to share intimicy… often so 😔 is my experience. I stop b4 that. And if he/she start and continue I block the person becauce then he/she doesn’t listen to my limits. It’s not worth to go there! Something should be private!! No matter what most people do & share. Make sure u show u r different & that u can stand up for urself 💜.

Stand up for your limits, your values and what you like not like. Remember who you are. It’s okay to take a break and not do a thing too 😊. It shouldn’t be a thing to stress about! Very many are desperate to find a new partner, they are tired to be alone. I don’t even read thoses profiles. They are not enough interesting for me. The last thing I need is a desperate person into my life!

Very important is; have patince. To get know a new person is like to become your new friend, it takes time so why should it go faster to get to know your partner? Take the time, chat, call each other, go on dates, do practical things, have fun and think you are trying to get a new friend . This new friend can end up becoming your best friend in life and walk beside you 💗.

online dating (annoying or not) part 4.

The 2nd date was nice too. I wont give you details becauce that’s private. But I can tell you, we watched a movie he liked and was too predictable action for me… We thought we liked the same kind of movies, now I’m not so sure anymore 🤣🤣.

Here and now the day after the date evening, I’m not so sure we gonna go on a 3rd date. I don’t have a good feeling that we actually have so much in commen… but hey! Two dates with the same man is more then I have had in a year 😊😊. And I am actually quite okay with that! 😊

I’ll trust the Lord and my inner voice that telling me “maybe not more dates with him, we might not look for the same things in life”. And that is fine for me!

I have had two fun dates and I’m very okay with that. 😊.

To know when enough is enough with the one you date. And focus on other fun things. Now it’s time to focus on Advent 😊🤩 . Maybe I go on other dates maybe not until after New Year. Who knows?!? I don’t and I am fibd with that! 😉.

Dating, online dating, challenges – what to expect.

Is always interesting. You never know how it will turn. Today, Sunday November 13th, I’ve just been on a nice date. And I say nice becauce it wasn’t any sparks or anything else. We chatted & shared some commen things.

We might be friends, but nothing else. And that’s life. I live. And I will continue this until mr right turns up 😉. I have patience becauce I am not hunting. No, I am enjoying to get out there and meeting people. I thinking it’s to interesting to not go on a date.

I see it as a good reason to get to know a new person I wouldn’t meet othervice and a good way for the lord to work through me in a situation I have no clue how it will go. It’s all about letting the Lord to be in control and talk to me and for me to be open.

Dating should not be a bad thing even if it’s not turning out to be what you might want. I think we need set our standars lower on what “we want” on the first date. If you think you find “mr/mrs right” on your first date no matter how short/long you been txting, you need to lower your expectations. You need to think: I am getting to know this person for the first time. Maybe you even need to reset your brain into a friends mode to be able to just get to know this person and not look for pro’s or con’s.

🤍 And pray about, let friends know what you want and when you going on a date, so they can stand by you in prayers. 🤍

Oline date no.1

My first date in a long time, today July 26th, 1pm. But the first time for me to go on a date with a man older than myself. Scarry! I normally “look” for younger. But thought I need to challenge myself and not go on “how he looks” but actually on chemistry and if we have anything in comman. So lets see…. (to be continued.) 12.47pm.

Well the date is over, 2.20pm. It wasn’t awkward 😊. And it wasn’t “I survived”. No, it was interesting! He was interesting. We had things in comman, we talked without awkwardly silence. We could be honnest. Both knowing what works for us as persons in life and sharing that without a problem made it even more interesting! We both wanted to get to know the other person more after the date 😊. I would lie if I said “oline dating isn’t worth the waiting ” cause it’s all about faith & patience to get to know the other person.

We both want to get to know each other more. We don’t want to stress about how we get there or when the nxt date is. And I like the honnesty with him. I can say I were attractive to both his look, talk, way of beeing. Which is a new experience for me 😊😊😊😊😊. And I am thankful for the Lord’s protection.

It’s all about to be in the moment, enjoy the time, not stress and for sure not think ahead of you like “can he/she be a part of my future”. Just enjoy the talk! If you aren’t thinking the same after that’s fine but don’t give up after one date! My experience is patience and it takes times for a reason! You need to know who you are and what you want in life to know what kind of person that fits you. You need to have faith in the lord to guide your steps, to close the door to the wrong ones and you need patience both to yourself, the men and to the Lord!

As I am walking’n’txting and the wind blowing through my hair and making extra sounds around my headset, I am glad I went!!! Really interesting man.

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